You work out of a Hotel?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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