drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
