I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He shit in the fireplace
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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