So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize