Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
its not stalking. its research.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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