She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
