We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
