as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
