if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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