you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
