i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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