Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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