I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
