Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
