CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
