I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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