Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.

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  (208): I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe. http://tfl.nu/02tv
  Replies (19) Good night (4091) Bad night (1232)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.

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  (248): apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave. http://tfl.nu/lqnh
  Replies (4) Good night (3013) Bad night (1019)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance

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  (315): I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance http://tfl.nu/rrp5
  Replies (56) Good night (5718) Bad night (951)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok

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  (330): yah i'm on my way- is everything ok? (1-330) i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok http://tfl.nu/s4ag
  Replies (35) Good night (1151) Bad night (7282)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?

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  (616): A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus? http://tfl.nu/o777
  Replies (13) Good night (6446) Bad night (1373)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god

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  (406): We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god http://tfl.nu/kj7l
  Replies (2) Good night (1356) Bad night (1375)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college

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  (303): I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college http://tfl.nu/bc9j
  Replies (7) Good night (2486) Bad night (660)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.

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  (905): i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth. http://tfl.nu/negs
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (951)
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  (209): View more from California

  I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.

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  (209): I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good. http://tfl.nu/spab
  Replies (1) Good night (1233) Bad night (627)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.

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  (937): Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward. http://tfl.nu/uvqx
  Replies (6) Good night (1128) Bad night (509)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.

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  (910): Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit. http://tfl.nu/w0fz
  Replies (8) Good night (1796) Bad night (448)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.

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  (306): Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol. http://tfl.nu/3yus
  Replies (3) Good night (915) Bad night (318)
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  (650): View more from California

  I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?

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  (650): I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night? http://tfl.nu/apf6
  Replies (4) Good night (756) Bad night (556)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers

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  (509): Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers http://tfl.nu/a1f6
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (301)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  update: I failed

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  (908): tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B (908): update: I failed http://tfl.nu/ownp
  Replies (4) Good night (300) Bad night (484)

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