Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
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Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
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Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
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