Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?

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  (312): sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions? http://tfl.nu/20lq
  Replies (21) Good night (622) Bad night (3642)
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  (845): View more from New York

  vagina is talking i cant

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  (845): vagina is talking i cant http://tfl.nu/cyjf
  Replies (37) Good night (3647) Bad night (1048)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Thanks for getting me home last night.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.

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  (281): Thanks for getting me home last night. (832): No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa. http://tfl.nu/wftp
  Replies (29) Good night (9079) Bad night (1078)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.

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  (336): They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up. http://tfl.nu/5b65
  Replies (5) Good night (4175) Bad night (726)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."

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  (757): And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate." http://tfl.nu/e62b
  Replies (11) Good night (7069) Bad night (1053)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.

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  (620): He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time. http://tfl.nu/dyz5
  Replies (20) Good night (5018) Bad night (1583)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.

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  (908): I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/fc4o
  Replies (9) Good night (5296) Bad night (919)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory

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  (252): He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory http://tfl.nu/jj42
  Replies (20) Good night (1333) Bad night (4764)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine

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  (507): we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine http://tfl.nu/vvgu
  Replies (7) Good night (2292) Bad night (643)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.

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  (724): Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/sfkv
  Replies (7) Good night (922) Bad night (1708)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest

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  (724): Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest http://tfl.nu/2gbs
  Replies (7) Good night (908) Bad night (645)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.

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  (+44): She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina. http://tfl.nu/51hz
  Replies (14) Good night (2329) Bad night (586)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.

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  (973): We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend. http://tfl.nu/o8s0
  Replies (3) Good night (907) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"

  (917): View more from New York City

  Rigtt?!

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  (718): I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts" (917): Rigtt?! http://tfl.nu/6krm
  Replies (0) Good night (527) Bad night (269)
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  (209): View more from California

  and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow

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  (209): and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow http://tfl.nu/xor8
  Replies (0) Good night (124) Bad night (66)

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