You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.