Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl

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  (313): I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl http://tfl.nu/zim9
  Replies (2) Good night (878) Bad night (1266)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach

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  (509): woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach http://tfl.nu/ylv0
  Replies (20) Good night (1881) Bad night (925)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.

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  (832): I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy. http://tfl.nu/4nt5
  Replies (7) Good night (1121) Bad night (2765)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.

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  (907): Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea. http://tfl.nu/ohgs
  Replies (22) Good night (4482) Bad night (831)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod

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  (720): she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod http://tfl.nu/2sd3
  Replies (6) Good night (5807) Bad night (1181)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech

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  (905): Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech http://tfl.nu/je9d
  Replies (19) Good night (4161) Bad night (1838)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives

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  (215): I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives http://tfl.nu/ehnp
  Replies (6) Good night (2102) Bad night (954)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.

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  (708): We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever. http://tfl.nu/e0m4
  Replies (16) Good night (4681) Bad night (979)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.

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  (361): I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots. http://tfl.nu/podd
  Replies (8) Good night (2234) Bad night (1054)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.

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  (515): I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises. http://tfl.nu/86bb
  Replies (5) Good night (759) Bad night (1669)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.

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  (941): I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention. http://tfl.nu/43cq
  Replies (8) Good night (1167) Bad night (601)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?

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  (540): I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night? http://tfl.nu/328v
  Replies (9) Good night (2672) Bad night (755)
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  (845): View more from New York

  lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you

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  (845): lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you http://tfl.nu/altf
  Replies (5) Good night (2032) Bad night (858)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days

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  (815): he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days http://tfl.nu/euqv
  Replies (1) Good night (376) Bad night (580)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.

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  (908): Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you. http://tfl.nu/4vsb
  Replies (0) Good night (671) Bad night (344)

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