Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
