Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
