Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
