So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
