I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Come see our sink grown plant.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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