The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Nobody cheats on THIS.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
