halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize