3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
