One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
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