a queef is a wish your heart makes.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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