you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
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