Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
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She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
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I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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