By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
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What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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