Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
