How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
