And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
