Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
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dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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