forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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