Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
