we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
