speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
