we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
