just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
