i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i drank out of a bidet.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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