This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
