Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
