Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
