It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
