I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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