I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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