My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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