I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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