Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Hippo gnu deer
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
