I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
