did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
