i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
