i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
