I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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