i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
