well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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