I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
it glows. i had to have it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
But theres a keg here and me gusta
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
