I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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