3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize