Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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