i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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