Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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