I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
