wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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