Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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